Woken up about 5am by a big, fat fluffy cat throwing himself on my chest. He just then stood on me flexing his paws. First thought- my time has come, after all the evil eyed stares, death by cat is here. Trying to get the breath back into my lungs I re-assessed this situation and came to the conclusion Frankie needs a wee. Stumbling downstairs, tripping up over the other cat, I let him out, even taking the time to wait as it was raining hard, and didn't think it would be fair to keep the fat boy out.
He did his business, sniffed the guinea pig cage, checked the parameters, and let back in (flicking his wet fox tail in my face).
I got back into bed, sighed and settled down.
10 MINS LATER.....
The stupid fat bastard wants to go out again. Take 2. Leapt onto me waking up husband too. I yelled 'get the fat fuck out of here!'
Husband stumbles downstairs, tripping over cat number 2 who weaves around his feet trilling for food he knows is not going to happen. Fat cat goes out again, but stays out in the rain. Husband does not do waiting around early doors.
2 HOURS LATER...
Helpful daughter lets the fat one in. He decides it must be my fault for being put out in the rain and left. Punishment commences...and of course cat number 2 joins in.
1 HOUR LATER...
I am in hell. I have spent the last hour being jumped on, feet attacked, anything near my head being played with including my hair, and screaming for them to 'FUCK OFF!!!'
Completely pointless. Fat cat doesn't give a shit & could have me in a fight. Cat 2 is deaf, thick and having a great time. They really have taken over, and I am their little play bitch.
I hate my cats.
Hate Crime
8 years ago
